Hi my name is MinHo Kim and I am going to be a seventh grader, my hobby is reading books and listening to music. My favorite book is Les Miserables and nowdays, I'm trying on Thus Spoke Zarathustra, it's really fun when reading classics, it makes me gain energy and giving me a lot of information. My favorite singer is Bruno Mars, Green Day, Jason Mraz, well I'm a big fan of BigBang, but still I like those singers, my favorite genre of music is club and electronica. I really like dancing , but unfortunatly, I am bad at dancing, so nowdays I'm trying to learn how to shuffle.
My goal is to become the UN secretary general or UNICEF general. The school I want to go is KMLA and Cambridge university
FINAL ESSAY ASSIGNMENT
12년 전
FIX:
답글삭제line 1: grader, my -> grader. My
line 2: Zarathustra, it's -> Zarathustra. It's
line 3: when reading -> to read
line 3: classics, it -> classics. It
line 3: giving -> gives
line 3: singer is -> singers are
line 4: Mraz, well -> Mraz. Well,
line 4: singers, my -> singer. My
line 5: dancing, so nowadays -> dancing. Nowadays,
line 7: school -> schools, is -> are (after "go")
line 8: capitalize "University"
You have a problem with your punctuation. A sentence ends with a period(.), not a comma(,), and you start a sentence with a capital letter. Get that? If you use too many commas, your sentences become run-on sentences.
You really have a big dream! I'm glad that you're stepping ahead even now. Good luck in your future!